Journal Entries

I think it's safe to say that I'm no longer apart of the "Daddy Issues" committee. I don't think time played a factor (because it took me over 20 + years) but, I do give credit to finding forgiveness (I thought I didn't have it in me), many many manyyy tears (feeling and releasing), work-books, letters, journaling, therapy, prayer, blogging, reading...look, it took a lot for me to get to this point.  I believe the last step of healing in any situation is closure. And after doing all of these things, I still felt like I was missing something. I had...

I was born with insecurity; The darkest birthmark I have.  Sometimes, I'm able to hide it well. Other times it shows through the different feelings I wear.  Sometimes I forget it's there, until I look in a mirror. I suddenly become filled with uneasiness when I realize Just how uncomfortable I am in my own damn skin. I've had the time to remodel my heart. Even gained enough strength to decorate my soul.  How did I forget to love the outer layer That protects the organs that keep me going?  A hazardous scar; It's like it's connected to my mind......

I've been reading my first published book once a week (for editing purposes........okay, maybe I'm a bit of a perfectionist). There hasn't been a time that I haven't cried, either during my reading session or after. These are definitely tears of joy. I cant believe I'm holding an actual book that I wrote. But most of all, I am so amazed how God brought me through so many rough patches and now has me positioned in a place where I never saw myself at - it doesn't seem real. Three years ago, I hit rock bottom. Mentally, I felt like...

I'm thinking about calling a therapist Now that someone loves me. Sounds crazy right? The last time I called one It was because someone I loved left me. This time, I'm not in pain. I'm more nervous than anything... Allowing love to slip through my fingers Because I have no idea how to hold it. Too good to be true. I'm waiting for something bad to happen... ...Because, it always does. What makes this situation any different? Well, he does. But that's not enough for me to put my guard down. I want to love him harder. He deserves it. But...